English Managers Whinging again.

After reading this interview with Alan Curbishley, it really had me annoyed. I don't know about anyone else, but I'm sick of English managers moaning about an English manager not being given a chance with the national team. Did the F.A. not just do that? Steve McClaren is English the last time I checked, and he made a laughing stock out of the national team. What about, Graham Taylor, Glenn Hoddle, Terry Venables? They didn't exactly perform miracles when they had there stints in charge. In fact, the only decent manager that England have had recently is, wait for it, of course, a foreigner.

• Sven qualified for 3 major tournaments as top of each qualification group and in those tournaments he got to the quarter finals each time. They were quite unlucky in all of them too, only going out to Brazil in 2002 via a freak/genius goal (you decide) from Ronaldinho, and in 2004 and 2006 they were knocked out on penalties by Portugal.

• Sven achieved the highest point percentage in Major Tournament Matches of all time for an England manager

• He managed to reach the quarter final in three consecutive tournaments, no other European country achieved this during this period
  

• He improved England's FIFA World ranking from 17th place (Jan 2001) to 5th place (July 2006).

And all that from a foreign manager? Why on earth, with precedents like that, are people moaning about a foreign appointment? Alan Curbishley is worried that there will never be another English manager, maybe that's because he's worried that Capello is actually going to win a trophy as English manager and make the public realise that the English managers of the national team in recent times have been below standard. Why should the F.A. give a job that requires a world class manager to a manager with only domestic credentials? Redknapp, Curbishley, Allardyce, has anybody from Spain or Italy or Brazil heard of these people?

Curbs will argue that the reason they can't appoint an Englishman is because there's no Englishman managing a really top team in England? Well, that's not the F.A's fault Alan. I think he needs to realise that there's a reason the top teams don't appoint English managers, and it's the same reason that the F.A. has decided to do likewise.

Grand Slam Sunday

So, the top two teams in the Premiership have opened up a slight gap in the table. Wins for Man United and Arsenal yesterday result in a reality check for Liverpool and Chelsea, that it will probably be a two-horse race for the title this season. Fergie always says that the Christmas period is so crucial for a team with title-winning aspirations.


So, here's the fixtures for the top 4 teams (well, I include Liverpool here, even though Man City actually make up the final team in the top 4 at the moment, amazingly, they are the only team in Scotland or England to have maintained a 100% home record this far in to the season. I'm still waiting for the day that the implode and start free-falling down the table. Manchester City in the Champion's league is surely inconceiveable).

Arsenal

Saturday 22nd December, Tottenham (H)

Wednesday 26th December, Portsmouth (A)

Saturday 29th December, Everton (A)

Tuesday 1st January, West Ham (H)

Chelsea

Sunday 23rd December, Blackburn (A)

Wednesday 26th December, Aston Villa (H)

Saturday 29th December, Newcastle (H)

Tuesday 1st January, Fulham (A)

Manchester United

Sunday 23rd December, Everton (H)

Wednesday 26th December, Sunderland (A)

Saturday 29th December, West Ham (A)

Tuesday 1st January, Birmingham (H)

Liverpool

Saturday 22nd December, Portsmouth (H)

Wednesday 26th December, Derby (A)

Sunday 30th December, Man City (A)

Wednesday 2nd January, Wigan (H)

The only fixture amongst all of them is Arsenal v Tottenham, and to lesser extent, Sunderland v Man United, but that's for Roy Keane -related reasons, not footballing ones. I can't wait for the Christmas football, 'tis a glorious time of the year.

Sky spinning headlines

Right, so scratch Rangers from the list below and replace them with Lyon. Still really wouldn't fancy being a second seed!!

Was reading an article this morning on Harry Redknapp's opinion of the new England boss Fabio Capello. It was very interesting reading with Redknapp saying that England don't need a top coach, amongst other things. But the headline read "Pompey boss unhappy with foreign appointment", and in the same interview, there's a quote from Harry which reads "I'm not unhappy with this appointment". Go figure!

Second v First

In previous years, managers of Champion's league teams have said that not a lot of worry goes in to whether their teams finish in 1st or 2nd in their Champion's league groups because you will end up playing a great team in the next round no matter where you finish. But this year, being a second seed for the draw for the next round seems to be a very big handicap. Here's the groups as they stand. It's not looking good for Arsenal if they should finish 2nd which is quite likely, seeing as how they need Slavia Prague to take points off Sevilla.

If results go as expected tonight then the seedings for the next round will be as follows:

Pot 1		Pot 2
Real Madrid		Olympiakos
Chelsea		Schalke
Milan		Celtic
Porto		Liverpool
Man United		Roma
Sevilla		Arsenal
Barcelona		Rangers
Inter		Fenerbahce

Man United's possible 2nd round opponents:

Olympiakos, Schalke, Celtic, Rangers, Fenerbahce.


Chelsea's possible 2nd round opponents:

Olympiakos, Roma, Celtic, Rangers, Fenerbahce.


Liverpool's possible 2nd round opponents:

Real Madrid, AC Milan, Sevilla, Barcelona, Inter Milan.


Arsenal's possible 2nd round opponents:
Real Madrid, AC Milan, Porto, Barcelona, Inter Milan.


It's quite clear that Man United and Chelsea are firmly better off than Liverpool and Arsenal (bearing in mind I'm presuming Arsenal will finish second). I might put a bet on Arsenal and Liverpool not to make the quarter finals, although as I've said previously, do the complete opposite of what I say, so while I go down to put that bet on, you all go down and put a bet on an Arsenal Liverpool final and take a photo of yourself dancing around with all your winnings and send the photo in to me. Can't wait.

England Manager

There's no 'right man' for the job is there? If they appoint a foreigner, there'll be people moaning that an Englishman wasn't given the job, however there's clearly no Englishman qualified enough to take the job, so if an Englishman is appointed then there'll be people moaning that the manager isn't good enough. Whoever takes the job will be mad to do so. It's an impossible job. The English fans will expect to win the next World Cup, simple as. Personally, I don't think the FA should rest until Mourinho takes the job. Offer him more money, keep annoying him outside his gaff, kidnap his children, whatever it takes. Brian Barwick comes across as a muppet. Look at him there, doesn't know what's going on.

Hatton beaten by Mayweather

So I stayed up late last night to watch the fight. Actually, I was in bed by 11 O'Clock but I had the 'aul alarm organised for half 3 in the morning. Now, I don't claim to know much about boxing, but the referee really did seem to ruin the fight. He just wouldn't leave the fighters be. I don't know much about what's kosher and what's not in the ring, but after the fight, Mayweather and the referee posed for photos with arms around each other and big smiles. Is that cool? It doesn't seem cool.


Hatton seemed really annoyed with himself that he didn't stick to his gameplan and he lost the run of himself a little bit. Felt a bit sorry for him really, especially having to lose graciously to that twat Mayweather.

Great weekend for Man United in the Premiership. Easy peasy against Derby at home, here's the highlights.....



And Arsenal finally losing is such a bonus. 1 point in it. It's shaping up to be an absolutely cracking Christmas.

Andy Gray is so annoying. I'd love to write an Andy Gray/Jamie Redknapp quotes book. It would really highlight how moronic/idiotic they both are.

Bad, and completely wrong again.

I'm terrible at predicting football results. Anyone who reads this, if they're going for a gamble, read carefully what I predict will happen, and then run away and do completely the opposite. Mark Viduka first goalscorer? Seriously? He's a fat idiot, how could he ever score against Arsenal. Although to be fair to me I wasn't too far off with the scoreline, I had a 2-2 and it ended up being a 1-1. Adebayor's goal was sensational. When he started at Arsenal he just looked like a beanpole but he's really shaping up to be a great player for them. Bit of a mixture between Terry Henry and Wanker Kanu.

Awesome.

I'll be watching the Ricky Hatton fight tomorrow night. I've no idea about boxing but I just want Hatton to beat the shit out of Mayweather. I haven't disliked a man as much as I dislike him since I first laid eyes on Drogba. Now, some may notice a theme embedded in my hatred towards people. Drogba, Mayweather, Ashley Cole. I just like to say, I'm most certainly not a racist. I hate Jose Mourinho and Neil Warnock as well.

Not bad, but completely wrong.

Well, I was wrong about the result last night. However, both teams did get through in the end. I think that if Shakhtar were beating Benfica 2 or 3 nil at half time then the Milan Celtic match might have turned out differently.

News reports are suggesting that Ronaldinho could be on his way to Chelsea.
Even though Ronaldinho has porked up recently in a familiar fashion to his compatriot Ronaldo, the prospect of this transfer does worry me, and even though Chelsea's tactic is usually to kick the ball as much as possible at Didier Drogba, Ronaldinho could absolutely run the show in that team because everybody else is so bland.

Tip: Mark Viduka first goalscorer tonight. The lazy fat twat.

Filthy I-Talians

If it's a draw tonight between AC Milan and Celtic then Milan qualify as top and Celtic qualify as second regardless of what happens in the other match between Shakhtar and Benfica. Usually in a game like this the odds for a draw would be about 3/1 or 7/2. Needless to say, this is not the case tonight, the odds for a draw tonight are Evens. Remember back in Euro 2004 when the only way the Sweden and Denmark match could finish with both teams qualifying was in a 2-2 draw? No prizes for guessing the result in that one. Tonight is going to be a draw.

Man United 2 - 0 Fulham

Ronaldo sorted Fulham out last night with 2 well taken goals. He really should have a hat-trick when he was brought down for what should have been a penalty but actually resulted in a yellow card for diving, and he should definitely have got a hat-trick about 5 minutes later when he was put clean through only to hit his shot straight at Uncle Niemi.

Seems like the title race is going to be quite the close one this year. Arsenal are still edging it, although they've a tricky fixture away to Newcastle tomorrow night. I know Newcastle are playing shite at the moment but it's going to come together one of these days, I'm gonna predict a 2-2 draw in this one.

Terry Venables for Ireland....nice one. Best manager we'll have had since Big Jack.

English for England

So the debate rages on. Should England go with a foreign import or go with an English manager to lead the team to the next World Cup? The argument is that the the representation that an international team sends in to an international match should all be of that nationality. This is an honourable sentiment, however, if England were allowed to pick Kaka or Messi for the starting eleven, you could be certain sure that they would do so, obviously, because they are better than any of the English players available. For managers, the FA are allowed to pick a foreign manager. So why should they pick an inferior manager when they are allowed to select a better manager, who cares if they're foreign. This game is about winning isn't it? Let's face it, there's not a lot of top quality English managers around is there? The FA should be seeking to employ the best manager who is likely to agree terms and, preferably, currently unemployed, to avoid any complications or payoff fees. There is one man that springs to mind who fits the above description. Jose Mourinho. Why bother with anyone else?

Rooney Injury

So Rooney's injured again. He's quite the prone man to an 'auld injury or two. It's getting quite annoying. However the silver lining comes in the form of Louis-Louis Saha. It's time now for him and Tevez to strike up an effective partnership.




Weird bet I put on last night. Helsingborg were away to Galatasaray in the UEFA Cup and they were beating the Turkish side 2-0. However, the odds said Helsingborg to win was 9/4. I thought that a bit odd seeing as how there was only 35 minutes left. So I lobbed a fiver on it. Helsingborg ran out 3-2 winners, and Galatasaray only got a goal back in stoppage time. Easy money!

RTE vs Sky

The difference between the two broadcasters attitudes to covering football matches couldn't be greater. Why would you watch Sky with bland agreeable pundits like Jamie Redknapp and Glenn Hoddle when you can watch RTE and have the craic with the Dunph and the lads. A passage of conversation from RTE's coverage of the United game last night to illustrate my point:

Eamonn: I have to say as football matches go, It's not a great spectacle.

Bill: Ah Eamon, let's call a spade a spade...it's a really boring match.

Eamonn: Ah now Bill, we can't be saying things like that or the viewers at home will switch off. (Sarcastically) It'll come alive in the second half Bill, it's brilliantly poised to become a sensational game in the second half.

Bill: Ah now Eamon, what station do you think you're working for?

Eamon: Sky!


Brilliant, they just tell it how it is. They don't try to suck viewers in by sensationalising everything and trying to find deep meaning in matches that really, are training exercises for the big teams. What Sky do in their production is really pathetic. They must consider their viewers to be absolute morons.

When Daragh Moloney was handing it back to Bill in the studio can you for one second imagine Richard Keys saying what Bill O'Herlihy said?

"Well Daragh, I'm not surprised you've handed it back to us because that really was one crap match".

I rest my case.

Currently Eating My Words

Well, it seems I was wrong about the "loser talk" coming from Jamie Carragher. Proved wrong, and how. I have to say Liverpool were pretty impressive last night. Although, having to go to Marseille in the last game and win I still think will be beyond them.

United play Dynamo Kiev tonight with many people predicting a comfortable victory for them. However, this does has some of the ingredients necessary for a complete snore draw. United don't really have to push themselves, they're probably going to qualify regardless, but sure we'll see what happens. Personally, I have a gamble on United to win to nil.

Yesterday, I found the greatest website of all time, if you're a United fan. Enjoy!!!!

And as for that tackle by Augustin Binya on Scott Brown last night. He should be banned from playing for the rest of the season. The intent to inflict lasting damage on the Celtic player was so blatant. If a person was to do that to another person off a football match they would most certainly be arrested for assault and possibly GBH. Disgraceful.

Champion's League Tonight

Jamie Carragher's insightful interview today revealed plenty, amongst the usual "we'll do our best", "give our all for the team", "fight to stay in this competition" he pretty much said he'd be happy with winning the UEFA Cup. I think the actual quote was more like "If we don't go through hopefully we can go into the UEFA Cup and do well in that".

Pardon me for nitpicking, but that sounds like loser talk to me. With attitudes like that, there's no way Liverpool will qualify. Genius Jamie also said that if they got knocked out of Europe it wouldn't be a disaster because there's still 4 or 5 months left in the domestic season to compete for honours...there's 7 months left Jamie, 7 months.

In other news, Michael Ballack is back in training. Remember him? Used to be a world class footballer. Wonder what he's been doing with his spare time and his fat as Jan Molby paychecks. Winston Bogarde anyone?

Sacking Managers

'Tis the new buzz isn't it? Sack your manager! Everybody jump on the bandwagon! It's great! Get rid of the below average manager we have, pretend we're going to look and not stop until we find a 'world class replacement' but then replace the below average manager with a below average manager. What's the point? Give the below average managers a bit of time to become average managers, then maybe after another season they might become a good manager.

An another note, can you ever imagine Niall Quinn sacking Roy Keane? No, neither can I.

I saw Stardust this weekend. Great film. Much better than Eragon, which I also saw this weekend. I'm gonna start reading Neil Gaiman books. Partly because he wrote Stardust, and partly because he has a ridiculous name.

Martin Jol for Ireland?

There are stories strongly linking Martin Jol with Ajax. However, Jol himself has said that he would rather stay in England for the sake of his family because is daughter is now settled in school. Taking the Ireland job would not require him to move house. Also, Chris Hughton, his assistant at Spurs also got the sack recently, and I'm sure he has a big interest in what's going on with the Ireland team, being a former international. In the near future it wouldn't surprise me at all, if the pair of them got appointed to lead Ireland in to the World Cup in South Africa. Fingers crossed anyway, they'd be a lot better than Liam Brady or Graeme Souness!!

How bad are Ireland?

Very bad. When did John O'Shea lose the ability of his legs? Who are all these new rubbish players? Keogh? Kelly? Who the fuck are they? And I think it's safe to say, regardless of how good he is at spraying passes, that Andy Reid is, in footballing terms, a fat fuck. How can a man like that be permitted to play international football when he's clearly 2 stone overweight. If you saw a man that chubby playing astro up in Tallaght, you'd point and laugh, and say "look at that fat fuck trying to play football". He's a disgrace. And as for Steve Staunton? He fell as far away from the personality tree as is humanly possible. The man is a certified brick. This whole "learning on the job" fiasco. The FAI should be thoroughly ashamed of themselves and the state that they've dragged the Irish football team in to. I'm ashamed to say I'm Irish after watching this qualifying campaign. It was nothing less than shambolic.

Coaching Badges

Howard Wilkinson raised an interesting point during the week about the fact that Avram Grant has the Chelsea job despite not having the relevant qualifications. He said "If a person wants to fly a plane, you wouldn't just let him in to the cockpit if he didn't have a pilot licence, and as to this 'period of grace' that Grant is being allowed, you're not just going to say to the pilot, 'sure have a fly around there for a few weeks and after that we'll see how you're getting on with your licence', no you wouldn't, you need a licence BEFORE he get in the cockpit". Howard making sense there despite his non-existant personality. I honestly think Grant's days are numbered.

Away from the Chelsea situation, Man United embarrassed themselves by losing to Coventry in the league cup even if it was only in the league cup. I'm becoming more and more sceptical about Nani and Anderson. They're not overly impressing are they? Bring back Djemba-Djemba!!

Chelsea Implosion

How funny is it? It's glorious. Chelsea are really biting the hand that feeds them now by questioning Abramovich. They need to be very careful. Obviously they don't want another Hearts-like situation emerging at Stamford Bridge but that's the way it's shaping up. However, if they're against that then Abramovich could just decide to fuck off with all his money. Either way, it's great news for the rest of us fans. My prediction is that Abramovich will have to do the right thing and get rid of that characterless idiot Grant before it's too late. Juande Ramos to get the job.

....and what's with the Sky Sports News ticker? It's never fucking working. I'm getting sick of it. It's broken more than it's not.

Foreign Coaches Taking Over

Did anyone ever stop to think that the reason there are so many foreign imports in to the Premiership isn't because the system doesn't favour homegrown players, but because Premiership clubs seem don't seem to favour homegrown managers. The top clubs, United, Chelsea, Arsenal, Liverpool and Spurs have managers hailing from Scotland, Portugal, France, Spain and Holland. For an English league there are very few English managers. Newcastle ar the highest profile club with an English manager in charge, Sam Allardyce. After that it's Middlesborough and Southgate. Then after that again it's Bolton, Wigan and Birmingham. Three quarters of the leagues clubs have foreign managers, so no wonder they favour bringing in foreign players, it would be only natural for them. England's footballing infrastructure needs to be looked at as to how they are coaching their coaches, because right now, there doesn't seem to be very many around.

20 LEGEND

Gutted. Absolutely gutted. Ole Gunnar Solskjaer has announced his retirement from football. Devastating news. What an outstanding professional. From his glorious moment in the final of the 1999 European Cup to a windy night at the City Ground where he banged in 4 in about 15 minutes, he was an absolute legend. He scored his first and last goals for United at Old Trafford against Blackburn Rovers, 11 years apart. He'll be missed. No doubt about that. All of a sudden, United look very, very thin on strikers. Anelka anyone? Even though he's an absolute cunt.

The Referee's a Wanker!

The FA should be ashamed of themselves after the fiasco that was Sunday's Premier League game between Liverpool and Chelsea. They have come out publically and said that Rob Styles had made a mistake in awarding Chelsea a penalty, so they took "appropriate action" and demoted him to refereeing Championship games for a while. Why? Who cares where Rob Styles is working next weekend? Not Liverpool fans anyway. How can they look at themselves and think 'yeah, we've evened things up for Liverpool now and justice has been done by punishing Rob Styles. A MISTAKE WAS MADE, why not rectify it there and then so that the result of the match in question is as it should be and not tainted by dodgy refereeing ecisions which can be eradicated in a matter of seconds with a video ref. It baffles me that UEFA or FIFA or whoever it is that needs to make the big decision doesn't take a leaf out of Rugby's book. It clearly works!! No mistakes, or very few, are made in Rugby matches. Yet, constantly, there is controversy in football matches, and it's so fucking unneccesary. This argument is raised every time something like this happens, every time, but then it always gets forgotten about the next week. Somebody needs to take this game by the scruff of the neck and drag it kicking and screaming in to the 21st century, because the state of the game now is laughable in comparison to rugby, cricket, tennis, nearly every other fucking sport uses a replay aspect. Fuck tradition. I'd prefer correct decisions myself.

Man United are ruining my life

So much hope. So much expectation. So much glory beckoning. So much trash talk down the pub......and then Whammo! Half a week in to the season United are 4 points behind Chelsea already. I can't take it. Is it just going to be a repeat of the 2005/06 season? Chasing Chelsea ALL season. Come on Liverpool, do a job for us tomorrow, keep the rest of us sane, please beat Chelsea! Please!

Emotions United

Jesus. I decided this season, to completely invest all of my emotions in the Premier League season. This gesture was returned with the Premier League crushing my emotions. I can't believe United are out of the title race already. They're playing catch up already. It's devastating. Absolutely crushing. And now Rooney's foot has exploded again it's not looking good. Tevez has a huge responsibilty now. Massive. I pray that he will be able to do a job, hopefully starting on Wednesday at Portsmouth. United can have all the talent in midfield that they want but for the love of God, why didn't anybody realise that we've no bleedin' strikers. Mabe I'm panicking a bit, Saha and Solskjaer are due back in action next week, Tevez is raring to go. It might be all peachy come this time next week after the Manchester Derby, but then again it could be an absolute nightmare. My God, it's only three days in to the new season and I already feel like I've had a stroke. Bring on Portsmouth!!!!!

I Hate Tiger Woods

He's a whingy prick. It annoys me so much the way professional golfers tip toe around greens as if they might cave from under them like a thin sheet of ice and then if they miss a putt they fuck their putters across the green like a tantrumatic toddler. Wankers. Especially Tiger Woods. Did you see him at the PGA yesterday? I'm delighted he missed that putt.

And despite Stevie G giving them the victory today it's bad news for Liverpool fans. No manager has ever won the top english league while sporting a beard. So 'Pool fans would want to hope that Benitez gets rid of that shmig fairly sharpish.

Premiership Eve

On the eve of the premiership I'm gonna make some predictions for the coming season. I can't fuckin wait for the football to start tomorrow.

Title winner: Man Utd - I can't see Chelsea dislodging them from the top of English football this season. They've bought some incredibly exciting players and bolstered the defensive midfield side of things. The only thing they should be concerned about is an ageing goalkeeper, but he should be quality enough for one more season at the top.

Relegated: Derby, Reading, Man City- I talked about Reading and Man City in a previous post and I think they'll go down for very contrasting reasons, and Derby, on paper, are shite. They're odds on to go straight back down.

Best buy: Florent Malouda - Not much of a fuss was made when Mourinho signed this guy but he is top quality. He's shown that in the French side for the last few years. Attacking and defending down the left side, he'll play a huge role for Chelsea this season.

Biggest flop: Fernando Torres - A lot of fuss was made when Benitez signed this guy and I just don't think he's gonna deliver. Liverpool fans seem to think he's going to propel them in to a champion's league race. I just can't see it happening with a midfield behind him containing Zenden and Pennant. He will struggle to adapt to the pace like Morientes did. He'll be gone back to Spain in 2 years.

Player of Year: Robin van Persie - I really feel he's going to step up to the plate after Henry's departure and assume the position. He has the talent, he just needs to keep his temper in check and he'll be in for an outstanding season.

Goalscorer: Michael Owen - As I've said before, there is no doubt about Owen's goalscoring credentials. He's had a full pre-season now to get in to ship shape and hopefully he'll stay injury free and bang in 20+ goals this season. He better, I've got money on him.

Dark Horse: West Ham United - I reckon last season was a freak for West Ham and they should never have ended up in the relegation trouble they were in. They have quality all over the pitch and even with the impending departure of Carlos Tevez I think West Ham will be in the top half and even give a push for a spot in the UEFA Cup.

Carragher's Quitting Decision

I don't like Jamie Carragher's attitude towards quitting the England international setup. On one hand I can understand his frustrations. It seems he was just born in the wrong era, having matured along side the likes of Ferdinand, Terry, King, Woodgate, Campbell etc. England have had a plethora of options at centre back over the last few years. However, and I am no exception to this, millions would chop off their penis (well maybe not your penis, a bollock maybe), to get a few minutes on the pitch playing football for their country. Even being part of the International setup is worth sacrificing a couple of fingers. I don't know why he can't just suck it up and do his job for his country which it turns out is as a backup utility defender. Shut up Jamie, and try and force a smile while you live out every schoolboy's dream, you spoiled little bollicks.

Neil Warnock is a ****

How appropriate. Neil Warnock is an anagram of Colin Wanker.

More from Pat Crerand

Is there no end to his flailing moronic comments? I watched a programme on MUTV the other day called "How the Title Was Won", which was a review of United's season last year. It came to the end and pictures of Gary Neville and Ryan Giggs lifting the Premiership trophy, cue Crerand. "It's a nice gesture that Sir Alex let two of the older squad members lift the trophy, you'd wonder why he didn't let the likes of Scholes and Solskjaer up there to lift it with them". No Pat, No. Would it not dawn on you that the person lifting the trophy, as is customary, might be the team captain? But why is there two of them up there Pat? Perhaps the other bloke lifting the trophy is the vice-captain? It's worth a moment to reflect on Pat, don't you think? You idiot.

Jose, you can't be serious!

So United beat Chelsea on penalties last Sunday to win the Community Shield. After the game Mourinho was interviewed and said he was happy with his team's display because "with a squad at 50% of it's powers, we didn't just control the game for 10 minutes or 20 minutes but we controlled the game for 90 minutes against a team at 100% of it's powers".

Is everyone else not sick of comments like this from Mr. Mourinho. Nobody is going to feel sorry for him with all his injury problems. He's always boasting about his squads strength in depth and with the amount of money they've thrown around in the last 4 years who's going to feel sorry for them if they have a few injuries? Not me anyway. He seems to be laying down the foundations already for excuses for his teams failings in the future. As for the "controlled the game for 90 minutes comment" he was obviously watching through his blue-tinted glasses again. Chelsea looked poor. Get over yourself Mourinho. I hate him, I really really hate him.

Random Fact: In the last 5 years, Paul Scholes has scored more goals (6) at St. James's Park than Kieron Dyer (5).

Wee Gamble

If you fancy a wee gamble before the new premiership starts, I'm gonna stick my reputation on the line and make a few recommendations.

Firstly, two teams I think will get relegated are Reading and Man City. Firstly Reading, Coppell has come out and said that he hasn't been too active in the transfer market because he feels that would be unfair on the lads who had done so well for him last season. This is an admirable and deeply loyal stance to take, but it could prove disasterous. It has been said on numerous occasions that if you stand still in the Premier League, you're going backwards. Reading over-acheived last season and I think it will be too much for them this year. Man City on the other hand are in the opposite situation, Sven has gone bananas making summer signings and they are all second-rate foreign players that he doesn't seem to know much about himself. I think this is a bad idea. They will struggle to gel and the team will pay the price for lack of British players.

Reading and Man City are both 5/1 for the drop with Paddy Power.

Also, I think a couple of good bets for the Premier League's top scorer are Robin van Persie and Michael Owen. Arsenal are going to be relying Van Persie heavily for goals next season after Henry's departure. I don't really like him as a player, but I think he has what it takes to step up and deliver for Arsenal. He's looked good in pre-season so far and scored a fantastic goal against Inter in the Emirates Cup last week. Michael Owen is back from injury and has said himself that he feels as if he's been physically reborn after months out with injury. He will always score goals, and if he strikes up a good partnership with Mark Viduka he could do very well indeed.

Robin van Persie and Michael Owen are both 14/1 to be top scorer with Paddy Power.

Paddy the Plank

Having watched the Man United versus Inter game on MUTV last night I've come to the conclusion that Paddy Crerand is a certifiable plank. Two events led me to this conclusion.

Event the first, David Suazo's first goal, which at first, admittedly, did look offside. The replay however showed that the ball struck Vidic before landing at Suazo's feet. A fact that the commentator pointed out to Paddy. Paddy, however, couldn't understand this and insisted that the goal was offside. He clearly doesn't understand the offside rule.

Event the second, was a header back to the goalkeeper from Santiago Solari. Solari headed the ball towards the direction of his own penalty box, the player didn't really seem to know where the ball was when he headed it or after he headed it, the ball was subsequently picked up by the Inter goalie. The commentator said at the time "Solari didn't seem to know a lot about that header back to the keeper". Paddy, sharp as a tack, then said, "Yeah, I think you're right, that's why the ref hasn't called that up for a back pass". Back pass Paddy? Are you serious? He headed it for the love of God. It doesn't matter if it was on purpose or by accident you plank.

So, in conclusion, even though Pat Crerand is a Manchester United legend, having actually won the European Cup and has now been a football pundit for donkeys years, he doesn't know the rules of football, and is in fact, a moron.

Random Fact: When Owen Hargreaves made his debut for England, he was the first player ever to play for England having never lived or played club football in England.

Personality? What Personality?

Jesus, what is it about England cricket captains? Mike Atherton, Nasser Hussein, Michael Vaughan. Ther isn't an ounce of personality between them and my God, would Vaughan ever prune that duck's arse he's been cultivating at the back of his head.

Heard today on Sky Sports News that Joe Cole has "warned Man United that Chelsea are in top form". This headline was misleading to say the least. Upon actually viewing Joe Cole's interview it became apparent that what he actually said was "We have plenty of injuries at the moment, so we haven't been scoring as freely as we'd like so far in pre-season but we hope to be in top-form come Sunday". Hmmm, that headline is borderline on being the opposite of what Joe Cole actually said.

Random Fact: Fernando Hierro is the oldest player to ever make his debut in the Premiership.

Chelsea Pre-Season

It's half time between Chelsea and Brondby. I'm pleased to report that Chelsea look below average, well below average. Jon Obi Mikel was hauled off before half an hour for playing shite. Things don't bode well for Chelsea's Premier League aspirations. One thing we definitely know though, is that the co-commentator Scott Minto wants more than anything, to have sex with Glen Johnson.

Disappearing Football Match

Made myself a massive cup of tea last night, got Champo going on the laptop (approaching the beginning of my 9th season), and sat down to watch Cork City versus Sunderland on Setanta Sports 1. Turned on to Setanta Sports 1, alas, no live football. My trusty website www.livesportontv.com had let me down. I was gutted. I just wanted to watch a meaningless pre-season friendly. I ended up watching a film called "The Man" instead, which incidentally is up there along with Young Einstein as one of the worst films of all time.

I did however, take the morning off work to watch The 1996/97 Premiership Years. Glorious. Calamity James at his best when we won the league again, down by the Mersey side!! Tomorrow, I will be watching Man United's pre-season friendly against Inter Milan. Hopefully we'll get to see Hargreaves or Anderson make their debuts.

I presume by the time I've finished writing this that England will have lost the test match to India. They're shite aren't they? In fairness, they are. They drone on and on and on about the England cricket team on Sky Sports News (especially Mike Wedderburn who can't say 'sixth', he says 'sikth' instead) and they're shite. Ireland would take them in a one day international.

I'll leave today with a random fact. Eric Cantona never scored a hat-trick for Man United.